Understanding, Not Judging

Biting, Hitting & Aggression Log

Spot patterns and support your child calmly — without blame or judgement.

Biting and hitting are common in toddlers and are usually part of normal development. This tool helps you spot patterns and support your child calmly — without judgement.

1 When did it happen?

2 Where did it happen?

3 What happened?

Tick all that apply

4 Who was involved?

5 What may have contributed?

If you're not sure, that's okay. Over time, patterns often become clearer.

6 How did you respond?

Tick all that apply — there's no wrong answer.

Helpful phrases many parents use
  • "I can't let you hurt."
  • "You're feeling really cross."
  • "Gentle hands."
  • "Biting hurts."
  • "I'm here to help."
  • "Let's find something else."

7 What happened after?

Small details can help you notice what supports your child best.

This information stays on your device

Understanding & Support

What often helps

  • • Stay calm and neutral — your child learns from your reaction
  • • Use simple language: "Biting hurts" or "Gentle hands"
  • • Name their feelings: "You're feeling really cross"
  • • Reduce known triggers when possible (tiredness, hunger)
  • • Praise gentle behaviour when you see it
  • • Give attention before they need to demand it

Things that may make it harder

  • • Using labels like "naughty" or "mean"
  • • Shouting or reacting with anger
  • • Long explanations they can't process
  • • Expecting them to say "sorry" before they understand
  • • Shaming in front of others

Why this happens

Toddlers don't yet have the language or impulse control to manage big emotions. Strong feelings can build faster than their ability to cope. Biting and hitting are common ways young children communicate frustration, excitement, or overwhelm — not signs of a "problem child". Most children grow out of this phase with calm, consistent support.

If biting or hitting feels frequent or worrying, your Health Visitor can offer personalised support. You're not alone.